Incessant Chatter
by MsBlackOut
Summary: Stuck at a party that wasn't what she expected, Ladybug is keen to leave but her yattering partner is pumped on a sugar high, the guests are mainly kids and some unexpected goading has led to a challenge that has the potential to make Chat Noir very happy. At least a kiss might shut him up, right?
1. Chapter 1

There was a major downside to being a people pleaser, you know, one of those people who just can't say no. They always get stuck in situations they wished they'd avoided. Worst of all, this particular trait seemed to have crossed over from Ladybug's alter ego into her masked persona. This inane need to make people happy had brought about Ladybug's current dilemma. At the time it seemed like a nice idea to answer the request from Alya. The girl was doing an awesome job with the Ladyblog, and it didn't hurt that the wannabe reporter was also her best friend when out of the mask. Showing up to a birthday party as Ladybug didn't seem like a big deal, at least until she discovered it was for the twins and not Alya.

Outside the mask the girl was an adept babysitter and had no problem relating to children. The problem was that Chat Noir seemed even better at it. Perhaps it was because he operated on the same maturity level as the little people swarming around them. Or maybe it was because he'd eaten just as many lollies as all the kids combined. Whatever it was, Chat Noir would not shut up or stop racing around like a lunatic.

"Looking at me, I'm a cat on a hot tin roof!" He shouted as leapt across the neighbouring buildings, pretending to burn his feet as he yelped with exaggerated gesturing. Not only did the kids lap it up, but it also eliciting gasps of amazement and cheers of encouragement from the more mature population.

This only enticed Chat Noir to show off more. "Look I'm a heli-cat-er!" he chortled as he spun his staff above his head and travelled from one side of the park to the other. "Check out my purr-peller!"

The kids were pointing and laughing until their favourite song boomed from the sound system again. Of course, Chat Noir lowered himself down on his staff, swinging around it like a stage performer to join the kids and get his boogie on.

Nino bopped his head to the pounding beat as the kids screamed the chorus of 'What Does the Fox Say?' for the twentieth time in a mini mosh pit. Ladybug rubbed her throbbing temples and did her best to restrain herself from blocking her ears with her gloved fingers. Instead she eyed some gummy bears and wondered if anyone would notice if she used them as ear plugs.

All the while, Alya was racing around videoing the whole thing which meant that Ladybug had to look like she actually wanted to be there. Her cheeks were beginning to ache from the fake smiling. Prior to the dancing she'd performed a number of yoyo tricks but apparently Chat Noir's acrobatics were better.

Deciding to pull up a chair, Ladybug was in the process of bending her knees to sit when her wild-eyed partner dashed over to grab her wrist. "Come on, dance with me!" he beamed as he tilted his head towards the tiny boppers.

It took everything she had not to express her true feelings on her face. Her head was pounding from the noise and she wanted to go home. Instead she plastered on a smile that was drooping at the edges and allowed Chat Noir to drag her into the smattering of dancing kiddies. Apparently, he was in his element. The black clad hero rocked his shoulders and bopped his head to the beat while invading her space on a level acceptable while around minors. She had to dodge the whip of his tail as he spun around on the spot more than once. Then he wiggled his butt at her and the kids broke into hysterics.

One of the older girls tugged at Chat Noir's hand. "Is Ladybug your girlfriend?"

Her partner flashed a grin suitable for a toothpaste commercial. "She is my partner and I call her my lady. Fate brought us together, it seems natural that she should become my girlfriend too." He said winking in Ladybug's direction.

"We're professional partners only." She corrected.

"Ladybug and Chat Noir sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G," two of the kids began singing. To Ladybug's horror nearly all of them joined in. "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby sitting in a carriage."

The pallor of Ladybug's face was almost as white at the clouds. If Chat Noir noticed he ignored it. Instead he threw his arm around her shoulders and whispered obnoxiously loud in her ear, "Shall we go find a tree to sit in? There's one just over there, and another there. Or we could use that park bench to climb into that one."

She elbowed him hard in the ribs, to the point that he lost hold of her and stumbled back a step. "In your dreams, Chat Noir."

This didn't deter him. "Undeniably, but how do I make kissing a reality? Do I need to wine and dine you? I know a _purr_ fect place. Just you and me, gazing into each other's eyes over a candlelit meal. Sharing our dessert with a single spoon."

"Enough of the flirting Chat, we're at a kids party. Besides, it's not going to happen."

Despite her dismissal his grin remained firmly in place as he laughed. "I think the lady protests too much."

"You should kiss her now!" A little boy piped up.

Ladybug waved her hands and took a step away from her partner. "I don't think so."

By this point Alya had moved in. "What _would_ it take for Chat Noir to earn a kiss?"

"Yeah, bugaboo, what do I need to do? Do I need to make a massive jump? Do something to defend your honour? Maybe a race to the top of the Eiffel tower in a set amount of time. Or to eat as many biscuits as possible."

A muscle under Ladybug's eye twitched so hard it was evident to see even with the mask on. Her fingers curled into tight fists as every pair of eyes seemed to zero in on her, awaiting an answer. As her gaze fell on Chat she noticed that he was bouncing on the balls of his feet and the end of his tail flickered. The guy couldn't stop moving. A lopsided smile spread across her face. If Chat Noir was as jazzed up on sugar as she suspected she had the perfect challenge for him.

She turned to Alya. "You've got a timer on your phone, right?"

"Sure," the bespectacled girl confirmed.

Ladybug eyed her partner. "If you can stand completely still and totally silent for five whole minutes. I'll give you a kiss."

"You're on," Chat Noir replied with a confident smirk. Little did Ladybug know, that under the suit was a professional model who had years of experience in holding a pose for extended periods of time. Not only did Chat Noir relish the challenge, he upped the stakes by positioning himself in an evocative stance directed at his lady. With a hand on his waist and an arm raised to accentuate his biceps while sinking his fingers into his hair, Chat Noir cocked a hip in her direction and adjusted his footing for a long standing. "I'm ready."

Ladybug arched a masked eyebrow at her partner as Alya started the clock. Chat Noir's face rested in a smoulder that she was absolutely certain he could not hold for five minutes. She crossed her arms and smugly watched, studying him for the most minuscule movement.

Alya nudged her arm at the two-minute mark and the heroine chewed her lip. It was then that she decided to make things difficult for him. With the knuckle of her index finger she rubbed at the end of her nose, pretending she had an itch. He didn't move. She lifted her gloved fingers to her scalp and scratched from her temple to her ear. Still nothing.

Three minutes passed. Ladybug linked her fingers together and stretched her arms forward, palms out. Nada. She raised them above her head until her shoulders cracked and her boobs were lifted high. She squinted, there might have been a bead of sweat rolling down Chat Noir's forehead under that unruly hair but he didn't move.

Alya elbowed Ladybug again as the four-minute mark rolled over. "He's nearly there, one more minute."

There was no rule to say that Ladybug had to stay where she was, so she circled her partner. Stopping at his side, where he held his hand on his hip, she studied his profile. His gaze remained forward, focussed on the place she'd previously been standing. She leant close enough that as she exhaled it caused his hair to move. In a deliberately breathy voice she inched so close that her lips brushed his blonde locks as she spoke. "You're determined, I'll give you that."

The speed of his breathing picked up a notch but technically he didn't move. Blinking and breathing were kind of necessary. Frowning, Ladybug considered her options in the limited time left. Glancing down, even his tail was completely still. How was this possible? Chat Noir had been full of beans and bouncing about like a balloon filled with helium on a windy day.

Stalking around to face him, she lifted her fingers and clicked them directly in front of his eyes. Nothing, not even the slightest flinch. "Twenty seconds!" Alya shouted. Ladybug grimaced and cocked her head to the side.

Glancing down she had a final idea. "Chat, your fly is undone." She wasn't sure but his lips may have pushed together slightly as if he were trying to hold in his laugh. The only zippers on his suit were the two side pockets and the one positioned below his throat that ran to his navel. He knew she was trying to trick him.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six…" the crowd chanted in time with Alya. Serious panic was setting in for Ladybug, she'd been certain that there was no way Chat Noir would go the distance. "…five, four, three, two, one. Time's up!"

Chat Noir's smoulder grew hotter as his lips curved upward in a triumphant smile. "Looks like I won. Hmm, this must mean that it's time for you to pay up." He said smugly as he tapped his finger to his lips. "I need a kiss, right here. See bugaboo, you need to focus here."

Ladybug rolled her eyes at his yattering. "Good grief I should have said for twenty minutes."

"I could do twenty minutes, heck I reckon I could do an hour. With the right motivation I can do anything, although to be honest I have an unfair advantage in this particular forte. I've modelled before. Have I told you that? I probably haven't because that might be a clue to my identity. Oh wait, I probably shouldn't have said that. But then again, I'm sure there are heaps of people who have modelled in their lifetime. Maybe they've posed for a photograph or a painting or a drawing. There's lots of options when you think about it."

"Chat Noir," Ladybug growled.

"Hmm?" He said with a curious look. "Oh right, the kiss. I guess I'm talking a lot because I'm excited." He was practically vibrating on the spot. "So, um, should we go somewhere away from the kids, you know, in case things get a bit heated. Not that I'm saying they would, it's just that, well I've been dreaming of this moment since-"

Ladybug grabbed Chat Noir by the opposing locks of his hair skimming the lines of his cheekbones and laid one on him. Green eyes remained open wide in shock as Ladybug's lips pressed to his. In the time it took for his pupils to dilate and his eyelids to close, she broke away and shook her head. "There, one kiss as promised."

A dreamy sigh escaped Chat Noir a moment before his legs wobbled and his knees gave out under him. As soon as his butt hit the ground, he flopped back, spread eagle and stared dazedly at the sky. "You kissed me," he uttered with reverence, raising a gloved hand to touch his mouth.

"And yet you still speak."

His head shot up. "You want to kiss me speechless?"

"I'm not even going there."

It was then that Ladybug noticed that Alya was filming them. Great, just great. "So, Ladybug, what challenge would Chat Noir have to meet to win that prize?"

Ladybug glanced down at her partner who was pushing himself back to his feet. A smirk ghosted her lips as she decided to throw the impossible out there. She crossed her arms and looked directly at Alya. "The only way I'd kiss him senseless was if Adrien Agreste was under that mask." At that Chat Noir's eyes shrank to stunned dots and he flopped to the ground, out cold. Ladybug nudged him with her toe. "Did he faint? I guess he crashed and burned from his sugar high."

Alya shrugged as she stepped beside her. "I suppose so. Do you think he'll care if the kids cover him with silly string?"

"Nah, go for it."

* * *

 **I hope you got a giggle out of this. Thanks for reading, reviewing, favouriting and following :)**


	2. Bonus Chapter

_I had a few requests to expand on this one shot, so here's an extra chapter - enjoy!_

* * *

 _Bonus Chapter_

A faint chemical scent had Chat Noir's nose twitching, moments before his eyelids blinked open. For some reason he was looking at the sky, well kind of. There was something sticky and stringy lying over his face, obscuring his vision through his mask. Why was he lying on the ground? His eyes widened, had he been struck by an akuma? Was he coated in some vicious projectile that would damage him in some way?

Shooting upright, Chat Noir scraped the sticky mess from his face and raised his fists, ready to fight. Voices surrounded him but there was no sign of panic or distress. Rising to his feet while he continued to scrape the colourful mess from his face, he discovered that it was silly string coating his costume. Chat Noir scrunched up his nose in confusion until he realised he was at a kids' party.

Scratching his scalp with a clawed finger, the superhero suddenly froze as he remembered why he'd passed out. Snapping around, his gaze locked onto his beautiful partner and his heart threatened to beat out of his ribcage. Ladybug had said she'd kiss him senseless if Adrien Agreste lay under Chat Noir's suit. His breathing became erratic. Surely that meant she knew. Why else would she challenge him to pose motionlessly for five minutes? It was a piece of cake for a professional model. And then her declaration for the next challenge, that couldn't be coincidence.

Grabbing his baton from his back, he extended it into a staff and used it as a crutch to keep himself upright. This extreme excitement had him dangerously close to hyperventilating. All the while, Ladybug seemed oblivious to his current emotional meltdown. Heck, she wasn't even looking in his direction. Instead she held a cup of lemonade in one hand while gesturing rapidly to Alya while chatting. Chat could see the part in the back of her hair more distinctly than her face.

It was Alya who noticed his return to the land of the conscious, as she peered around Ladybug's shoulder. "He's awake," the budding reporter shouted as she nudged Ladybug's arm.

Time slowed as Ladybug turned her blue gaze on her partner. Chat Noir instinctively positioned himself for her perusal, shoulders back, chest puffed up with a hand on his hip. All the while he tried to display his staff as though he were readying for battle rather than holding himself upright. His trembling knees were doing little to cement the image he was trying to convey.

The wobbling only increased as Ladybug's eyes made a leisurely trip down his body and it took all he had not to sprint over to her with arms wide open, ready for the impending embrace he longed for. But Ladybug's masked eyebrow arched in amusement and Chat Noir found himself looking down. His entire suit was covered in silly string. "Um, when did this happen?"

Ladybug shrugged, "About ten minutes ago."

"And you didn't come to my rescue?" Even the hurt in his voice was obvious to him as he pouted at her.

"I made sure they didn't put any up your nose, surely that counts for something."

Chat Noir crossed his sticky arms and threw her a glare that was more bluff than bravado. Then he recalled the reason for searching her out and his ire waned. Curiosity mingled with hope as he asked, "So, um, you said you want to kiss Adrien Agreste speechless, right?"

To his utter delight, Ladybug's face turned as red as her mask. "I said if you were Adrien Agreste under that black mask that I would."

It took everything Chat Noir had to fight back the impulse to grin and do a fist pump. She knew! She had to. Ladybug knew he was Adrien Agreste and she wanted to kiss him. Now he just had to work out how he could unmask himself without people realising what he was up to. But the party wasn't over yet. The birthday girls were jumping up and down excitedly as their mother carried a substantially large yellow minion shaped cake to the main table.

As the crowd surged forward, Chat Noir ensured that he remained by his lady's side. The back of his gloved hand brushed against hers as they walked and the familiar zing of attraction shot through him at the brief touch. He stole a glance at Ladybug from the corner of his eye but as usual she seemed unaffected by the contact. She had to be playing hard-to-get, nothing new there. It made him wonder if she'd respond differently if he were to do the same thing unmasked.

An idea struck him. "I'll be back in a minute," he told her. Ladybug merely nodded her head and kept her eyes on the cake which was being decorated with fancy candles.

Sneaking to the small unattended food tent, Chat Noir ducked inside and transformed back into Adrien, then he swaggered out as if he were meant to be there. Ladybug was exactly where he left her. Adrien sidled up to her. "I'm back."

Ladybug glanced at him and back to the cake, then she froze. Her head turned with extreme slowness and her blue eyes bulged as she took in his appearance.

"Hey bugaboo," he said with an innocent wave.

Her jaw dropped, "Shut up."

"Keen to kiss me speechless already, hmm?" Adrien quirked a mischievous eyebrow and dropped a shoulder to draw himself to her eye level. "Now, now, there are a lot of kids here. Kissing will have to wait until we're some place more private." He watched with delight as her face shifted from white to scarlet. Her respiration rivalled a startled rabbit. Adrien couldn't help adding, "Now who looks ready to faint?"

Focussing his attention back to the cake he felt gloved fingers grasp his shirt sleeve in a death grip. "Adrien?" she continued to gasp as if she were surprised it was him. Silly girl, what was she playing at? She already knew. He shook his head as a smile burst across his face. Though it dimmed when he noticed Alya reaching for her phone to film again.

Turning to his partner, Adrien gently pried her fingers from his clothing as she continued to stare at him like she'd been slapped. "I better switch back, Alya will wonder where Chat Noir went." He said with a teasing wink as he darted away. Glancing over his shoulder he was very pleased to see Ladybug watching his departure with mouth agape.

Hastily he ducked back in the food tent, transformed into Chat Noir and returned to his unnaturally still partner. This time when he bumped her gloved hand with his she wheezed. The hero pressed his teeth to his bottom lip but it did nothing to curb his smirk. "You okay, bugaboo?"

Ladybug made an incoherent noise Chat Noir interpreted as being in the affirmative. But just in case, he moved his hand to capture hers and interlaced their gloved fingers together. At her gulp, his eyes darted to hers and he wondered if she needed a reminder to breathe. "Are you asthmatic?"

Ladybug shook her head, but continued to suck in air in heavy bursts.

"Is everybody ready to sing happy birthday?" Alya called.

"Yeah!" they cried in unison.

Although Chat wasn't entirely certain that Ladybug was okay. He shifted to stand behind her, looping his arm over her head to keep their hands clasped together. Shuffling close, he whispered against her ear, "Lean into me if you feel lightheaded." His partner practically slumped against him to the point he had to hold her hip with his free hand to keep her upright. Did he need to call a doctor?

At the squeeze of his hand, Ladybug jolted back to life and began singing the birthday song in an overly loud voice. With a shrug, Chat Noir matched his partner's boisterous volume and rocked them both side to side in time to the beat of the song. She was acting weird.

As the cake was being cut, Chat Noir found himself evaluating his decision to reveal himself as Adrien under such circumstances. Had he completely freaked out his partner by being indiscrete? The back of Ladybug's head moved against his throat and her face tilted up as she glanced at him. Her fingers tightened on his and her left hand was suddenly clutching the outside of his thigh.

"Bee!" One of the kids yelled and suddenly Chat Noir understood Ladybug's anxiety.

"Just hold still, milady. The bee won't bother you if you don't bother it."

"Chat?" she croaked.

"Yeah?"

She blinked a couple of times as if trying to work out how to verbalise her thoughts. "Adrien…"

Chat Noir lifted both his masked eyebrows and looked from side to side. "Oh, he's not here right now," he said with feigned ignorance then threw her a brief smirk.

"But you-"

He spun her around and placed a finger on her lips, cutting her off. "I was covered in silly string. Not anymore," he said as he indicated to his pristine suit. Having transformed again meant he was now completely clean.

"Adri-" He covered her mouth with his hand to find Alya staring at them.

"She's had too much lemonade. I think it's time for us to leave. Thanks for inviting us!" Chat Noir said as he gave jovial wave and swept his partner against his side to vault away.

Several blocks later, Ladybug tugged on his cuff. "Stop."

Coming to rest on a flat-topped roof, Chat Noir released his partner. "What's up?"

"About the kissing…"

"Yes?" Chat Noir said with an interested arch of his masked eyebrows.

"Does now suit you?"

Chat Noir flashed a suave smile displaying his perfectly straight teeth. "I'm always willing and able." The words had barely left his mouth before Ladybug swept him into her arms, dipping him dramatically to snog him with a vigour which made him dizzy.

It was growing dark by the time she finally let him go and true to Ladybug's word, Chat Noir was too busy grinning like an idiot to speak.

* * *

 **When Chat Noir regains the ability to speak I'm sure he'll ask Ladybug about her identity. She'll be so blissfully happy that she kissed her crush I doubt she'd deny him the** **privilege.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


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